parsnips are aphrodisiacs!

Parsnips, to my mind, are the prima donnas of the seed world. Temperamental and wayward one never knows if they will be bothered to germinate. Rather like  supermodels they won’t get out of bed for less than …. well in a parsnip’s case an obligatory amount of sun and rain. So imagine my pride when the full complement of seeded rows flourished.

Having watched them growing lustily over the summer I impatiently dug a couple up rather prematurely in October. Even then, as I had to dig deeper and deeper to unearth them, I knew they were winners, all I had to do now was wait for the frosts to sweeten them and we would have a bumper crop for Christmas. And boy did we have frosts! I envisaged everyone around the festive table exclaiming, ‘so all these vegetables are from your allotment! And I would smugly nod in agreement.  But this turned out to be foolish hubris – it wasn’t to be. I ended up buying supermarket parsnips coyly wrapped in cellophane. The truth was that the frost would not  relinquish  its icy grip on the soil and beware all forks and spades who entered there.

Ah but now that the thaw is here – the parsnips will be mine – all mine. Remembering their size last autumn I wonder how  big they are now. I imagine them remorselessly tunnelling down through the earth rather like a vegetable version of the ‘Shawshank Redemption’. Perhaps, I muse, they’ve reached Australia! ‘Get a grip, says my spouse when I unwisely share my thoughts. We certainly needed grip digging up these fellows. Now I don’t want to boast but they were about  oooh – this big…I know this doesn’t quite work on radio, but you’ll have to take it from me!

The first thing I make is my favourite thing at the moment – parsnip crisps. For that purpose I have bought a mandolin  - sadly not the stringed instrument but a lethally sharp contraption which, when used in the right way results in uniform little discs. However,  used in the wrong way – and I know this from experience – it results in decapitated thumbs.

This is how I make Parsnip Crisps

 Slice the parsnips into thin discs with a sharp knife or mandolin. Scatter them on a baking tray and sprinkle on sea salt and some paprika. Drizzle on some olive oil and then use your hands to toss the slices to ensure they are all coated. Now put them in a moderately hot oven for about 15-20 minutes until crispy and eat while hot.

Now it is Valentine’s day soon and, not many people know this but the Romans thought parsnips were aphrodisiacs! So forget the champagne and oysters – a plateful of parsnip crisps will bring a twinkle to your loved one’s eyes!